Raising Children's Self-esteem

What is self-esteem? Children often describe self-esteem as having "good feelings" about themselves. On a more adult level, self-esteem can perhaps best be described as a feeling of acceptance, worth and value among one's peer group and in the wider world.

Self-esteem is critically important to quality of life. As a parent or teacher you have a vitally important role to play in cultivating positive self-esteem in the children in your care. Feeling accepted is one of the most important aspects of a good self-image. You can create this in a child by practicing your listening skills. Invite your child to talk. Ask some open-ended questions to get them to open up. Once they start talking,listen carefully to what they have to say. Help them find the words to describe what they mean and listen without judgment. When they describe a problem, do not try to solve it for them. Usually, children just want to be heard and understood. They will solve their own problems in good time, and benefit from a feeling of increased power.

Acceptance is another big part of self-esteem building in children. Nobody is perfect. You need to accept your child with their faults if they are to develop a proper self-image. Acceptance is not the kind of thing you can fake. If you do not accept them as they are, they will know it. It is important to recognize your child's strengths and weaknesses, and commit to reinforcing, nurturing and building on your child's strengths. The only traits you need to change in your child are those that will directly cause harm to him/her or others. Many well-meaning caregivers develop a habit of over-praising children. However, a child can tell the difference between genuine appreciation and hollow flattery. Show interest in what your child does and appreciate the significance of challenges being overcome, rather than just offering mindless approval over frivolous activities. Likewise, helping a child learn to come to terms with defeats is much more conducive to good self-esteem than wholly fixating on the positive.

Above all, be a good role model. Positive, optimistic parents and teachers create positive, optimistic children. While negativity will only breed negativity.

By: Janice Davies

Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com

Janice Davies is The Attitude Specialist, who teaches people to be positive and empower themselves. Janice is the founder of the global movement International Self Esteem annual awareness day and features in the True Happiness DVD. Janice has an online products featuring about attitude, goals, stress, happiness, relationships and more. Visit www.attitudespecialist.co.nz for other complimentary articles and tips.