Reasons We Do Not Succeed And Learning How To Overcome Them
There are really only two reasons that people do not live a successful and happy life: either they don’t understand how to do it, or they simply don’t want to.
It may not seem possible for someone to not want to be successful, but this is often the case. When people are asked to make a list of their goals in life, the first things they come up with are usually not goals they set for themselves. Rather, they are things that others have told them they should want to achieve. They are the expectations that they feel obligated to fulfill, not the things that they believe will make them happy..
Try this yourself. Make a list of a dozen goals that you have. Don't think about it too much - just put down the first things that come to mind. These can be long-term goals, or short-term goals. After you have composed the list, read it. It may surprise you. Don’t be afraid to face the truth. If you want to learn to succeed, this is an important exercise.
Here’s a story that will serve as an example.
A man, who was a veterinarian, would take his son to the clinic with him on Saturdays. The son would watch the surgeries. When they left, his father would make some remark about like, “Some day this will be your job.”
As the son grew older, his parents assumed that he would become a veterinarian, like his father. When he applied to colleges, the parents always pointed out to him the schools that had good veterinary programs. He enrolled in one of these colleges and became a veterinarian.
He became a competent vet, but people tended to notice that, unlike his father, he didn’t seem happy doing this job. They wondered if he just didn’t like animals. But the real problem was that he never wanted to become a veterinarian. It was his father’s goal, not his. He had nothing against animals, he just wanted another career. He never allowed himself to consider what he really wanted to do with his life. He was afraid he would disappoint his family, so it seemed easier to let them decide the course of his life.
He never did admit to his family that he wasn’t happy with his life. In fact, he never admitted it to himself either. He really believed he was doing the right thing by following goals that others had set for him. He thought this would lead to happiness, but it didn’t. It may not have been a wasted life, but it was not the life he should have lead.
We only have one life, and we should decide what that life should be. It is our responsibility to make our own choices. Like the young man in the story, very few people will be happy if the goals they seek to achieve are not their own goals - even if they achieve them.
Now, look at your list of goals. Are these indeed goals that you want to achieve, or are they based on the expectation of others. Be honest with yourself. Throw out any goal that isn’t something that you have the desire to do. Once you decide which goals you really want to achieve, the “how to” is a relatively simple matter.
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