Recovery From A Failed Relationship

Know that, on occasion, you may still be unexpectedly hit with brief moments of recollections of this past love even after you've reached acceptance of the relationship having ended long ago. It may be a location, a scent, or even a situation with a new love that brings you a memory of a past one. I still get these on occasion and have thought some ugly words to associate with those that betrayed my trust. The thought only lasts for a moment but long enough to think of a profanity toward them. Usually one involving "slang" for the female genitalia. Five years in the Navy gave me an extended vocabulary that I don't use fluently, but haven't forgotten. Though I have not said them aloud, I am still capable of thinking them when such a memory occurs. I have memories, other men have them, and you will have them. While I don't "hate" any of these women or even have anger toward them, I also do not have the required respect, for some, a more flattering description requires.

Should memories and associated regret occur, and they most likely will, don't dwell on the fact that the woman was actually remembered by you. Memories are there for you to learn from your mistakes and they can never be completely erased. Like a scar from childhood that we do not occupy ourselves with, occasionally we get a glimpse of it and have a brief remembrance of how we received it. Likewise, you were wounded in this relationship, you will have a scar, and you will, occasionally, remember the woman who gave it to you.

As I close, do know that any feelings of anger you have will pass, as will any inclinations toward wanting some type of "revenge." It may take time but your serenity will arrive. Know that the best type of revenge is not physical or abusive in nature. The best revenge would be for you to find success in an endeavor, pursuit, passion, or even a future relationship. One that does not include your ex as part of that success or in the enjoyment of it's reward. Should you succeed, as I'm sure you shall, she will realize that you were someone she made the biggest mistake in her life by leaving. What other type of "revenge" could possibly provide more satisfaction?

As a believer in "what goes around, comes around", it is always best to step out of your ex's way and let her get as far away from you as is possible. Some refer to it as "bad Karma," that black cloud seen in cartoons, which follows only one individual, bringing bad luck and misfortune to them. You don't want to get inadvertently hit by those future misfortunes that are certain to come back and kick her in the ass. There is often no need for you to try to make her life difficult or troubled. That will come on her own, without your help. "Karma," I believe, is a woman. She is "Nature's Justice" in the Court of Life that will mete out any punishment required. She can be a "Bitch" to anyone, who deserves it.

Know that you are in control of your own life. You determine your future. Your happiness and security will be decided by your decisions and actions that you take now. Not by someone else's that were made before.

May you find happiness, truth, and sincere love from a woman in your next relationship.

By: Matthew Dees

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