Regaining Balance At Mid-life: Male Menopause And Irritable Male Syndrome

“He used to be the nicest guy you could envision, now he’s become moody and mean.” I hear this confused worry from women all over the world. “She once was gentle and caring, now I’m treated like her worst enemy.” Men are just as exasperated and aggravated. Millions of women and men are finding that something strange is happening to them when their relationship moves into mid-life.

Often I think it’s natures little joke to split us apart and send us looking for new partners to populate the species. However it’s not joking matter when it comes to those that are dealing with the realities of mid-life. The key to staying sane and keeping our relationship alive and well is to know two related life changes affecting both men AND the women who love them at mid-life: Male Menopause or Andropause and Irritable Male Syndrome. Combined together we’ve got a double whammy. But with a little support and encouragement from those we love, we don’t have to let them do us in.

WHAT ARE THE MOST COMMON SYMPTOMS OF MALE MENOPAUSE AND IRRITABLE MALE SYNDROME (IMS)?

1. Hypersensitivity—The least little thing can upset him beyond belief.
2. Anxiety—He worries all the time, even when things seem to be fine.
3. Frustration—He can be like a pressure cooker about to explode.
4. Depression—He may not have the typical symptoms like sadness, feelings of worthlessness, or thoughts of death; but he certainly isn’t happy and he’s often angry.
5. Loss of sexual desire—He’s not as interested as he once was.
6. Erectile dysfunction—Even when he’s interested he may have problems with erections.
7. Fatigue—His level of energy is often times low even when he has had lots of sleep.

After seeing this kind of thing in my own mid-life marriage and those of my clients and friends, I set up a research project to learn the extent of the problem. I developed an Irritable Male Syndrome Quiz http://www.TheIrritableMale.com that has been filled out by nearly 10,000 males and by hundreds of women. Based on the responses I received I found that there were four major causes of IMS.

First, were variations in male hormones. This can take place as we get older and our testosterone levels begin to decline. It can also result from lack of exercise and weight gain.

Second, were changes in the biochemistry of the brain. For instance,drops of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin can result in feelings of hostility, anger, and blame.

The third cause of IMS was rising stress levels in men reach mid-life.

Lastly, loss of male identity as we struggle with new sex roles in a an ever changing society can create issues.

Although mid-life relationships have there many challenges, there is tremendous value in working through these problems together. One man, who has been married 32 years and has raised three kids with his wife, says, “Love is a lifetime of work. Be a little more kindhearted to the one who really loves you. Take your time. Nurture your relationship. It’s all you really have.”

For more information on Irritable Male Syndrome and Male Menopause, please visit my website at http://SurvivingMaleMenopause.com and get your free copy of my E-Book: Andropause (Male Menopause}: What Is This Crazy Thing We Are Going Through?

By: Dr. Jed Diamond

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Dr. Jed Diamond has been helping men, and the women who love them, for over 40 years. He has written 8 books, including Male Menopause, The Irritable Male Syndrome, and Mr Mean. He is passionate about helping transform relationships and make the world a better place for us all.