If you think back, before this broken relationship, to the previous women that you were intimate with, you may find yourself wondering how you ever got involved with them in the first place. It gives you a point of reference as to what you may have gone through before, during those break-ups over women that you would not allow back into your life today. You are not the same person you were then and have grown since those relationships. You also learned to avoid the same type of woman that you once thought you loved. Just as you grew and found a new love from past relationships the same will happen from this lost one.
IT WAS FOR THE BEST
Going into each relationship from your past you probably felt elation and joy as each began. She was someone new and with her came new experiences. At some point you "fell in love" with her. She may have had faults but you overlooked them while you were together.
Now, remember the reasons you are no longer with each one of them. Whether it was you who chose to end the relationship, or it was their choice, you are seeing their faults in a light that you did not have at the peak of your emotional attachment with them. Perhaps one drank too much; another was a flirt who enjoyed getting you angry by doing so. Maybe one of them never cleaned or expected you to constantly buy her things to prove you loved her. Another may have always needed a prescription drug to control her mood swings. Still another might have been constantly bemoaning every minor trouble that came into her life but was never concerned about your own troubles.
From those who expected you to care for them without reciprocating any care, to those that were just simply a pain in the ass, you developed an emotional attachment to them despite their faults. Usually with the same result if they ended the relationship. You felt betrayed and angry for having put up with them, standing by them, and ultimately loving them despite their own faults.
Now that you see these women in a different light and without the emotional attachment you once had, can you honestly say that you are not better off? If you think about it you might find yourself realizing that if they hadn't ended the relationship, in time you may have ended it yourself. You are probably thankful that you are no longer involved with them as your life would likely be more miserable than you feel at this moment. You could have made the ultimate mistake and actually married one of them thus trapping yourself further in a relationship that wasn't meant to survive.
In one instance of a broken relationship benefiting a male friend, it could be attributed to Karma or just my own belief of "what goes around, comes around." The woman cheated on him and the relationship ended. He had assisted her financially during their relationship and had supported her when it was required. She apparently was only concerned about her own security and wanted to be cared for unilaterally. She thought she had found someone in a better financial position than he was in.
In actuality, the man she left had a decent five-figure amount in savings and investments but from past history with women, he never revealed this security to her. He had learned to live on his paycheck and to save over the years and wanted to be sure that her expressions of love were sincere. A good lesson to be learned by any man that might have some money at his disposal â€" don't reveal that fact to a woman who has her own financial problems.
It soon became evident that he had been saved the expense of her misfortune that soon followed her. Within a period of three months of their separation her car transmission blew, she was in debt to a dentist for over $1,200 from her child's needs (her own impending dental work would be required as well) and she had previous bills that were overdue and in collection status. She was also living with family members due to the fact that her pay alone could not support an independent residence. Her new boyfriend either could not, or would not, have her and her child live with him. Her age was causing increased medical needs. Cosmetic surgery would also be needed soon, as her poor appearance and excessive make-up was making evident. She was a "high maintenance" woman.
By my friend's estimate he would have spent nearly $5,000 in "rescuing" her, just in order to meet her immediate needs, if he had not discovered her infidelity when he did. As the relationship was over when her monetary woes surfaced, he was saved the expense of providing for someone who was unworthy of such devotion.
Certain women can be detrimental to your health or financial welfare. You may realize now that you weren't really happy with those other women in your life. It may have been the fear of trying to find a new relationship as one may believe that any relationship, even a bad one, is better than no relationship at all. It may be that you made promises never to be deceptive or break their trust in you - that you would always stand by them and never leave them. You may be an honest man and believe that your word is your bond and you weren't going to break your word or the trust you gave her. Perhaps the thought of one more failed relationship and another portion of your life wasted kept you trying to improve a bad situation. For whatever reason you stayed, you're now content with the fact that you escaped from it, despite the discomfort of it ending caused you at the time.
The woman you currently regret losing is no different than those others, once the initial shock of it has worn off. You will look back at this one, lumping her with the others, as just one more you are grateful to have escaped from. You may remember that there were many good times with her but, overall, there were more times when you actually hoped she would disappear and give you some needed space â€" even if only for a short while. The woman involved at present will appear less beautiful, less appealing, and less attractive as a woman you want in your life.
At the very least, examine your actions in the relationship. Did you do all that you should do in your relationship? Did you support her, care for, respect, and love her in all ways that you could, and should? If so, remain guiltless and place no blame on yourself.
Mr.Dees, author of The Aphrodite Apocalypse, continues writing in his retirement. Mr. Dees currently enjoys writing on subjects that he finds of interest, including nostalgia items, western antiques, and the Civil War
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