- Try to picture the events as a REALITY and not just as a day dream. Make it real for you!
HOW TO VISUALISE:
The relaxation movie
To help you relax , close your eyes and take yourself to a safe tranquil place. Bring into your mind all that is soothing about this location.
Picture as much detail as you can -- colours, light and shadow, sounds, smell. Reach out and touch things around you . Create a safe calm haven, where you can be at peace.
It might be:
1.Lying on a beach-
Feel the warmth of the sun.Hear the waves lapping onto the shore.Touch the sand under your fingers.
2.Walking in a garden-
Smell the perfume.See the colours.Soak up the peace.Sitting next to a waterfall Listen to the roar.Watch the way it flows, Taste the clear fresh water.
3.Floating in a blue pool-
Feel the water supporting you.Hear the far-off sounds.Abandon yourself to floating.
2. WORRY TIME
-Allocate 1 hour a day for worrying. This is the time when you can give full flight to all the concerns and cares that you normally allow to nag at you all day. Be very firm about this.
If you find yourself worrying outside of the appointed hour, remind yourself that you can't be bothered by this now, you'll deal with it later during worry time, and then you'll give it your full attention.
A funny thing tends to happen during the WORRY HOUR. You usually don't feel like WORRYING!
3. meditation
Regular meditation is a very powerful tool in helping to promote a better understanding of yourself, a more peaceful attitude and a lower stress level.
Its positive impact on mental and physical health has been well documented, and it is especially helpful for anxiety sufferers!
Several health institutions have introduced meditation programs for sufferers of anxiety, terminal illness and chronic pain, for example.
All of us have meditated without calling it that. It occurs when we 'switch off'. The term ' lost IN thought' we are actually allowing thoughts to occur, without any emotional attachment to them.This allows Anxiety sufferers to distance themselves from the endless internal chatter that comes with anxious thoughts and constant worrying.
Our minds can truly rest and, ofcourse, our bodies can, too.This builds confidence as we know that we can control our fears by relaxing past them, and quietly arrive at solutions to our own problems, by allowing these insights to occur to us.
Daydreaming is a form of meditation, when we drift off, letting our thoughts float where they will.
Meditation is natural, easy and available to all, at any time.
4. HOW, NOW?
- You can't change the past. It's done. What you can change is how you view the past from the present.
How do you choose to see the past???Your past may have been miserable, true, but how many times more cruel have you been to yourself since then? If we never had challenges, made mistakes or tried new things, how would we ever grow, ever learn? Go ahead and make mistakes. Everybody does. Goof it up! Then LET IT GO.
If you hadn't had to deal with an awkward situation you would have learned NOTHING. Give yourself a break! Maybe you didn't have the knowledge or experience that you needed to get it right first time. Well now you do, by MAKING A MISTAKE! Others who have helped from your past may have been equally uninformed or unevolved!
FORGIVE THEM! Does it help you to hold a grudge?The future is unknown. You may as well imagine it in a favourable light. Who knows? Today's loss may simply clear the path for greater gain! You don’t know that it won't!
Again, how do you CHOOSE to visualise the future? How can you be sure that this was the only man/woman for you? The best job you'll ever have?
Go back to visualisations for a moment. Create a movie about your future, as you would like it to proceed, from here. See yourself grieving for your loss, then dusting yourself off, looking around you and seeing a whole new option emerge.
Perhaps, in the end, this transition has nothing to do with outside factors (a spouse, a job, etc). Perhaps it's something important that you're discovering about YOU that you can use to create a better future.
5. THE NUCLEAR WAR THEORY
-What picture does this conjure up? Death, destruction, total annihilation? The end of all life as we know it? Its hard to imagine anything worse, isn’t it? And yet, most of u, at some time or other, have built up being late for an appointment into something almost as catastrophic in our own minds!If your guests are late, if the dinner burns, if your car breaks down, even if something BAD happens, ask yourself the old question. IS IT THE END OF THE WORLD???Again, it is how you choose to see it. If you perceive something as being a disaster, then that's how it will feel to you. Lets look at the burnt dinner example:
You could:
(A) Spend the entire night sulking or embarrassed and have everyone feeling uncomfortable OR
(B) Make a joke, order a pizza and enjoy an evening where everyone's relaxed by your humour.
Ask yourself: What's important? Really important? The company of your friends or Cordon Bleu cookery? It's done (even if like a dinner!). Relax. It DOESNT MATTER.
6. LET GO
-Often it's our attachment to outcomes, results or ideals that creates the greatest stress on us. This is the word 'SHOULD' at its most damaging. For Instance:
