Supporting A Loved One Who Is Grieving

Losing someone you love is one of the most traumatic and challenging experiences you can face in life. Second to that is watching someone whom you care about deeply mourn the loss of a loved one and feeling helpless to do anything about it. It can be extremely difficult to watch someone else suffer when they are broken and hurting. Most people tend to get angry when they are unable to help someone heal from their wounds. The great news is that as difficult as it may be, there are things you can do to help those you love deal with their grief.

One of the first things that you need to deal with if you want to support someone who is going through the process of grieving is to get over your own discomfort. Some people genuinely feel moved to want to help others deal with the pain of their loss, but feel that if they make an effort to try and help they will be seen as intrusive. They might feel the individual needs some time on their own, and in some cases that might be true. But the majority of the time, this discomfort is solely on you, and if you put it out of your mind, you can work around it to be a solid friend to the person in need.

While approaching someone you care for who is grieving, you can overcome some of the awkwardness by just coming out and acknowledging the situation. Try not to use soft words like “pass away” but instead use words like “died” so that the individual knows that you understand the gravity of the situation and that you are truly open to hearing what is on their heart. Be sure that you let the person know that you are deeply concerned for them and for the situation that occurred. Tell them you are sorry they are dealing with this, but that you want to be there to support them during this time in any way possible.

You can also help this person deal with grief by helping them with everyday life. There are some tasks that the individual will not feel like doing. You can be supportive and express your love for them by completing these tasks. Go to the grocery store for the person or help pay bills. Watch the kids for a few hours a day and allow the person to have some alone time to process what is going on.

By: Renee Wood, MSW

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Renee Wood founded The Comfort Company in 2000. She is a social worker that has helped families deal with the loss or pending loss of a child, as well as aiding patients in the end-stage of renal failure. The gifts provided by The Comfort Company offer memorial ideas as well as hope for healing hearts.