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The Gift Of Life
For as many times as I’ve heard these sayings, it’s still not easy to hear. You see, I like to believe that I’ve overcome my life’s experiences and that from here on out, there’s nothing else to learn. Boy, this couldn’t be further from the truth. I do realize we’re all here to gain knowledge; however, there are days when I wonder if it ever gets easier? Easy, as I’ve learned is a context; it’s simply a matter of how we look at things. If we approach life from the perspective that it’s hard, then most of what we experience is now ‘hard’, and for obvious reasons the reverse is true. A very recent occurrence quickly reminded me of this concept which resulted in a very rapid shift leading to quite an amazing awakening! Two months ago, I met the most wonderful man. Our connection was instantaneous; and, as the Divine would have it, it didn’t take long for nearly every one of life’s known stressors to enter into our relationship; new relationship, move, loss of work, financial worries, and health issues. Can you guess who the star was of each one of these incidents? That’s right, me. Now, I’m not victimizing myself in anyway, well, maybe I am just a little. As a human being, a little whining always feels good. Nonetheless, as I sit here this evening, I can honestly say, I created these circumstances for a brilliant reason. Living in a small mountain town doesn’t offer much in the way of employment; yet, the work that is available isn’t necessarily suitable for someone living with MS like me. The symptoms of this condition are exacerbated by extended periods of strenuous work as well as stress and as I was working in a bakery seven hours a day on my feet lifting large amounts of raw batter and dough while writing at night, it didn’t take long for me to virtually implode. Additionally, the paper I was writing for, closed. So there we are; finances temporarily cutoff. In addition to the fact of having no money coming in from my actions, there was the obvious new relationship, an agreement to move in together, compounded by the flare up of symptoms, loss of work AND the added stress of trying to find an income. Well, as great as he is, he graciously supports my career and wholeheartedly believes it’s all coming together beautifully. HOWEVER, he’s been a single man for quite some time; and not to mention, he’s a very independent man WITH a southern gentlemen demeanor; meaning, he wants to take care of everything. And then, there’s me; single mom to six kids who is very used to being the provider in addition to taking exquisite care of herself as well as others. So, here I am slowed down with an illness and not making money; can you imagine what sort of disempowering beliefs have surfaced? Self-worth, for sure……..the beautiful component to this uprising was how well the discussion went, easing my concerns rather quickly; although in all honesty, my ‘stuff’ didn’t end there. Like I said, he’s accustomed to being a caretaker which includes keeping house. So, when I made the bed for the first time, you would have thought I had stomped on his toes. In some ways, I did. Needless to say, the ‘issues’ didn’t end there. There were further concerns regarding cooking, cleaning, laundry and so on. In other words, your basic housekeeping chores. My position with all of this was and is that I firmly believe in an equal energy relationship. So, for now, I’m not drawing an income; however, there are signs that it’s coming. On the other hand, I am more than capable of contributing in other ways, and as I get begin to work more, it’s only fitting that we split the chores. I’m not against this practice at all. As it is, he’s on the go seven days a week and I want to participate as much as possible. That’s it. Well, after much consideration, what occurred to me this evening was how strong my desire to contribute to this relationship really is and I feel as if he’s not letting me for whatever reason (which really isn’t important, to me). The crucial aspect to this ‘breakdown’ is I don’t feel like I’m being allowed to contribute and that’s upsetting. Hello, light bulb! How many years did I do EVERYTHING not allowing my kids, friends, co-workers, employees and family members to contribute to my life because ‘I HAD IT HANDLED’. Holy cow! I instantly gained insight into how everyone of those people felt. All they wanted was to give of themselves and I denied them that right. Not only did I deny them, I denied myself of that gift. What an expansive moment; had you clocked me, I don’t think I would have gotten it any clearer. Does this realization change my circumstances? Knowing our commitment and intentions, my answer is yes. I’m very confident in the two of us, understanding we will talk about the situation with the purpose of creating a shift. However, talking about it is not going to eradicate such circumstances from the planet. It’s a fact of life. Some people possess an independent nature and assume this type of role no matter what. The difference for me is that I will no longer experience resistance or denial. It will simply be what it is. Furthermore, a far more important detail is how essential it is for me to maintain this awareness and allow others to actually give of themselves without the struggle. To me, this is the foundation of abundance. It’s when we open ourselves up to the course of giving and receiving that we allow abundance to naturally emerge and fill our lives. Blocking one or the other or both, blocks what is rightfully ours. In other words, being generous with our self and others is the ultimate gift of life. We create these beautiful gifts for our learning pleasure. Accept them and use them for all they are worth because the world around us is truly not as it seems. Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com Tammy Davis Health Coach & Advocate / Aromatherapist Taos, NM tammydavis.weebly.com |
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