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The Ifs Advantage
If we ask why the avoidant part operates the way it does, we see that several parts of Sandy are involved in her procrastination. There is a child part of Sandy who was criticized harshly by her father and made to feel incompetent. Whenever she attempts to accomplish something difficult, a task that she could fail at, that child part is triggered, like an echo from her past. The avoidant part is trying to protect this child; it is afraid she will be hurt again if Sandy tackles her video project. A third part of Sandy pushes her to work hard and criticizes her when she doesn’t. This self-criticism is making the child part feel hated and worthless. Therefore the avoidant part is rebelling against this pushy/critical part. Sandy feels like a ship in a storm, buffeted here and there, without a center from which to understand herself and move forward. Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) is an approach that helps you find your center, pinpoint the parts of you that are causing difficulties, heal them and unify them. Using IFS, Sandy would learn how to access her true Self, a port in the storm, a place of strength and compassion which is the source of internal healing. Her Self would connect with each of Sandy’s three parts in a loving way that allowed them to trust her. Following the IFS procedure, she could help them release their fears and negative beliefs, allowing their natural strengths to flourish. They would learn to cooperate with each other and support the unfolding of her life. She could then move ahead with her video project passionately and without reservations. Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com Jay Earley, PhD, is a psychologist in private practice and an IFS teacher. He is the author of Self-Therapy: A Step-by-Step Guide to Inner Wholeness Using IFS. See his website www.personal-growth-programs.com |
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