The Runaway Boyfriend

My ex-boyfriend was a Canadian, and I was an American. He came to stay with me for several months, and I have to admit that I was utterly mortified about how my sister treated him. To be honest, my sister is not the sharps girl. My boyfriend on the other hand, read Newspapers and prestigious Canadian magazines so he seemed a lot smarter than most.

One day, while we were having dinner, we started making plans for the upcoming holidays. My sister asked my boyfriend if they had Christmas in Canada. I thought that the answer to this was fairly obvious, but apparently to my sister it was not obvious at all. My boyfriend laughed, and he explained to her that they have Christmas in Canada. He also explained why they do not celebrate the fourth of July. My brother-in-law was not even involved in the conversation. He refused to look up from the pile of men magazines that he had in front of him.

As the weeks passed, my sister's questions seemed to get even more ridiculous. She asked my boyfriend if he was a republican or a democrat. He told her that he was a Canadian. After a while, he could not handle anymore of her silly questions. He started to have culture shock and he was especially not amused by my sister’s continuous inquiries.

He spent all day reading Canadian magazines and watching reruns of Degrassi Junior High. He was so homesick that he was almost physically ill. I told him that it was not healthy to spend this much time away from the place in his heart that he calls home. I recommended that he should go on a hiking to clear his head, just like he use to do in Canada. Also that way I thought he could enjoy the beauty of the county without being smothered by my family. Unfortunately, it turned out to be the worst idea I have ever had. While he was hiking, he got so excited that he wasn’t paying much attention. He was gazing at the birds and his foot slipped off the side of a cliff. Luckily, it was not a steep cliff. He fell for a little bit, and then he landed on a ridge in a pile of brush.

He was stuck there for three days before the search and rescue team found him. He tried to sound really brave and said he was perfectly fine. He’d joke around and say all he really needed was peace and quite to read one of his favourite Canadian magazines. Even with all his bravery, my boyfriend was never the same again. He had suffered a couple of broken ribs and lost quite a bit of weight. However, the real problem was his mental reaction to the whole ordeal. He was in shock at first, but as soon as he emerged from that, he became very angry.

By: Randshan Saldin

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He developed an unnatural hatred toward my family for all his troubles. After 2 long years of trying to be happy, he decided to break it off. He loved me, but he had to move home. As soon as he got back, he caught up on his Canadian magazines and men magazines subscriptions, and I never saw him again. To this day, I still blame my sister's ridiculous questions for the whole ordeal.