The Waiter Rule

Once in a while, I read an article that makes me want to share it with all my readers and clients. I'll bet that's occurred in your life as well. And I'll also bet it made you think "Boy, I wish Stuart would see this and maybe then, he'd get the point."


Such an article appeared for me in the April 14, 2006 USA Today , Money section. It's entitled "CEO's Vouch for Waiter Rule" Watch How People Treat Staff " and it's about what you can tell about a hiring candidate, or anyone for that matter, by simply dining with them.

We've known for some time that HR executives gain invaluable information from this process. In fact, it happened for me years ago when I was the interviewing candidate.

I was being interviewed for a high-end sales position by an HR person who'd flown in for the interview. My timeslot happened to be during lunch. We met at a top-scale restaurant; one that has hosted presidents and international leaders.

The restaurant impressed me, but I was soon chagrined over the manners from this Fortune 500 VIP, who threw back in short order two martinis, spoke with food hanging out of his mouth and salad dressing dripping off his face.

And he was rude to the staff. I wondered if his CEO knew how this individual represented his company while trying to impress a potentially key player. My interest in their firm ended that day.

That article in USA Today allowed me tremendous insight. While he was nice to me, the interviewer treated the staff as personal errand boys, constantly demanding more and more. It gave me a dismal glimpse into their corporate culture.

According to the USA Today article, "Its hard to get CEO's to agree about anything, but all interviewed agree with the Waiter Rule. How others treat the CEO says nothing, they say. But how others treat the waiter is like a magical window into the soul."

The article goes on to describe what CEO's have learned, 'just about every CEO has a waiter story to tell.' Here are some you hope are not told about you:

- "That he was demanding and could not function well without a lot of hand-holding from his support system." Siki Giunta, Managed Objectives

- "Watch out for people who can turn charm on and off depending on the status of the person they are interacting with. Be especially wary of those who are rude to people perceived to be in subordinate roles. Bill Swanson, Raytheon

- People with situational values have situational ethics, and those are people to be avoided." Steve Odland, Office Depot CEO

Of course, the reverse is true. "Dave Gould, CEO of Witness Systems, experienced the rule firsthand when a waitress dumped a full glass of red wine on the expensive suit of another CEO during a contract negotiation. The victim CEO put the waitress to ease with a joke about not having had time to shower that morning. A few days later, when there was an apparent impasse during negotiations, Gould trusted that CEO to have the character to work out any differences."

The waiter rule also works for how we treat all others--hotel staff, receptionists, doormen, and grocery clerks and others. So, before making that important decision to hire a candidate, date, befriend or trust a new business partner, you might just want to invite the individual to dine with you. There's much more than meets the eye.

How do your manners and attitude at dinner represent you? This may just be the week to find out. Enjoy your discoveries and have a grand week!

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