Have you been conditioned to think that getting a job and working forty hours per week at something you don’t really like, but pays the bills, is as good as it gets. Then join the masses.
But it's also right that most of us wish our lives to be meaningful; we need to understand where we are headed and we demand something deeper than ‘just a job’.
When we depart this life we want to have achieved something worthwhile, and not felt that we had wasted our treasured time here on this weird and wonderful planet.
But are you not fortunate to have a occupation, any trade? Well, no, I think this is a false. You will be dead one day, so why not aim for the biggest dream that turns you on? Why waste all those 9 to 5 hours doing stuff that turns you into a unenthusiastic, unhappy boring victim?
Is it bigheaded to believe you can have the life of your dreams? That depends who you listen to. Who is making up this game of life? Your parents? Your friends? Your teachers? Your history books? Life is there for the taking…provided that you are ready to pay the price. No peril, no adventure, no catastrophe, no success. You decide what you want your life to become – if you dare.
So why is it so hard to alter one’s life for the better?
Here are seven key worries and obstaclesobstructionsbarriersproblemshindranceshurdles that obstruct people going after their dream life:
You don’t know what you want because you thought it was not an important question or you have accepted other people’s directions without any thought. When we are young, our sense of self and our level of self-esteem are dependent on our parents and teachers who decide for us what is noble and bad behaviour and what rewards and punishments go with this behaviour. So we learnt how to please our authority figures by becoming the kind of person that they liked.
The majority of people are followers or reactors – People who stand out have to be spirited and risk isolation, or face emotional and monetary ruin. This is too much ‘perceived pain’ for too little ‘perceived gain’. Note the word ‘perceived’. The actuality is commonly very different but we tend to envision the worst.
We live in a highly specialised workforce and once you get on the job (just over broke)-mortgage-buy stuff-pay debts-watch TV (no energy for anything else) – mow the grass – do the housework – you know the rest – treadmill, it is almost impossible to motivate yourself to switch careers or do something different.
Fear of failure. You fear ending up in the poorhouse, this panic kicks in as soon as you think you might be better off doing something else and that’s as far as it gets.
You want assurance about the future but of course no-one can give you that certainty so you live with the devil of a occupation you know (or the devil of a partner) and resign yourself to a life of sacrifice and sameness and mediocrity.
We have the misconception that we must find the ideal remedy before we commit to anything else, and so we continue looking for something in heaven rather than something right in front of our noses.
You can't be bothered, it’s all too demanding, pass me another _____ (fill in the blank).
When we're accustomed to existing this way, it may take a upset (a family or health crisis) to awaken us up and sadly this is what it takes before a person resolvesthat ‘enough is enough’.
But what then?
Another quandary emerges from the utter specialisation of the rat race. What/ Who / Where/ When/ How do I modify my life? All you know so far is what doesn’t work! How do you find the right path to your desired future? What do you really want?
There must be a way out of this mess?
There is. Learn how to build your future. Become a life artist.
But it’s not for everyone. Turning one’s life around and becoming a author rather than a reactor isn’t painless or quick. Discovering or finding what we should do with our lives is one of life’s wonderful dramas. It is a never-ending process of self-discovery and should be valued for the level of complexity involved.
You will have your knockers. “What a dumb idea!” “It won’t pay the rent.” How unreasonable.” “He’s off with the fairies again.”
But it’s not impractical and it won’t put you in the poorhouse. (You will think of the worst that can happen and have plan B ready…won’t you?).
Gary Hipworth is a life planning consultant who believes that all people are capable of being their own life coach. For this purpose he created Superlife Life Planning Software to help you discover What is the meaning of life
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