Thriving During Tough Times - When Life Gets In The Way
You start a new year. You have New Year resolutions. You have goals for the year. You have plans. You know where you're going and you are committed to getting there.
Then, out of the blue, just as you start to make the real progress, life gets in the way. Something unexpectedly comes up...a significant problem or challenges at work. Conflict or chaos at home. A family challenge. A broken computer. The basement floods. Your boss takes a new job. You drop your PDA phone in water. Your back goes out. You didn't see that car going through the stop sign...Any of these sound familiar?
Well, if not these, then something similar. It happens to all of us. There is no way to avoid it. We just don't control all the things around us, no matter how hard some of us try to be all controlling! So, what's a person to do?
Well, there are three distinct approaches that will help you deal with life when it gets in the way of your best laid plans.
First, accept the fact that life will just periodically be getting in the way during your journey in this world. Nobody has lived a life in the past where it didn't happen and nobody will ever live a life in the future where it doesn't happen. When you truly accept and embrace that fact, you put yourself in the best position to respond appropriately and make progress on your vision, goals, and plans.
Instead of coming unglued or getting enraged, you now have mental space to unleash the second thing that you can do. You can get creative in your response to the situation. Ask yourself some questions. "What can I do to turn this challenge into an opportunity?" "What can I do to keep things moving forward?" “How do I keep things from moving backwards?” It pays to be fluid, flexible, and dynamic with your plans and efforts.
Entrepreneur and educator, Jeff Olsen, says it best in his book, The Slight Edge:
"You have to start with a plan, but the plan you start with will not be the plan that gets you there.... In fact, if you put too much energy into the plan, and make it too perfect, you're more likely to squelch all the life, spontaneity, intuition and joy out of the doing of it.”
So, with all your plans, make sure you spend some time roughing out some contingency plans as well. Don't plan as if nothing will go wrong, instead, have plan "b" and "c" roughed out for when life takes a turn. The contingency plans won't be perfect but you will have prepared you and your team to be ready for the inevitable adjustments necessary along the way.
Finally, you should look to your highest vision, purpose, and aspirations to refine your options. When life gets in the way, you want to have already thought about and articulated them so you can use them as assets. Often times, people haven't thought about or clearly articulated their vision, purpose, and aspirations, thus, they don't have any assets to help them through their challenges. In fact, most of us are originally motivated to identity and clearly articulated our vision, purpose, and aspirations because of some significant event where life got in the way.
That's really the difference between the successes (in whatever way you want to define success) and the failures in the world. Successes don't go throughout life allowing life to repeatedly get in the way without declaring vision, purpose, and aspirations. Failures do.
Allow me to provide a very personal recent example. As of the writing of this article, it has been just 163 days since I lost my mom her battle against liver disease. In some ways, it seems life yesterday and, in others, it seems like a long time ago. However, most experts will tell you that it takes a year or more to fully grieve the loss of a loved one. In addition, my mom only lived 75 days after I found about her disease. To complicate things, my Mom's liver disease was brought on from many years of drinking. Thus, we did not have a very good relationship during the last decade of her life.
When I found out the news on May 22, 2008, it is safe to say that life got in the way, big time! My goals and plans for 2008 were going to have to change to deal with the issue appropriately. Without addressing all the details, I will tell you that I applied the above approaches to keep things moving forward while finding new ways for me to deal with this challenge and live my highest vision, purpose, and aspirations in the process. Fortunately, I was able to reconnect emotionally and spiritually with my Mom, visit with her, and help her deal with her mortality and critical care decisions during the process. During the recent Holidays, it became very apparent to me that my siblings were not as prepared and ready to capture that same opportunity with my Mom, and thus, they are still very early on in the grieving process.
On the professional side of things, I was still able to move my business activities forward in great ways. My detailed plans for the remainder of 2008 changed but I was able to accelerate some personal and professional growth during these challenging times that allowed for some breakthroughs and leaps forward during the recessionary times we are all dealing with right now. In the end, several business associates and clients gained a new level of respect for me professional and personally from witnessing my approaches during these tough times. They even have touched me deeply with personal and professional endorsements and testimonials recently.
No matter what you face during these tough times, you can come out of the other side in a much better place. I KNOW that from my personal experience and my experiences helping others. You can effectively work these approaches above to overcome life when it gets in the way. I hope you will start with this belief as well and begin working these approaches any time life gets in the way.
One final thought. You should have simple, non time-consuming processes and routines that help you do these three distinct things to deal with life when it gets in the way. Start a support group that you meet with regularly. Or, participate in a regular mastermind group, council, or forum. Or, connect with a coach on a regularly scheduled basis. These regular contacts will create rhythms for you and make the process faster, easier, and better!
Jon L. Iveson, Ph.D., The Champion’s Coach, is a Gazelles Certified Coach who helps individuals and companies produce champion results and build champion relationships. Access Jon’s FREE mini-ebook on “The 8 Steps to Thriving during Tough Times” and other valuable resources at www.ThrivingduringToughTimes.com.
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