When you’re stuck in traffic, it’s so easy to just lose your top and rail at the car in front of you, the car behind you, the cars on either side, those near the traffic lights… you get the picture.
Anger is so easy to ignite, and so hard to defuse. It is the most destructive of emotions, and one of the hardest to handle. Anger has led to physical violence, property destruction, and other damage that has ranged in severity from the disappointing to the devastating. Anger is the undercurrent that envelops domestic violence that leads to divorce, and it is the driving force of terrorism.
While these might lead you to believe that anger is too dangerous to toy with, that suppression is the only answer, let me tell you that it is NOT healthy. Suppressed anger leads to cardiovascular disease. Medical research has found evidence that those people who suppress their anger, don’t deal with it, and seethe inside, are at an elevated risk for coronary heart disease.
So what is to be done with anger, then? Deal with it.
Yes, you heard me, deal with it.
Now while some therapists use a rubber-coated bat and a pillow or a punching bag to allow their clients to release their anger on inanimate objects, there is a more docile way to deal with anger. Self-talk.
It is so simple to use actually. When you feel your temper rising and the conflict escalating, stop. Breathe. And walk away.
When you do, but your mind still races with intense, knotted emotions, this is the time to do self-talk. When you start cursing the one who offended you, stop. Restructure what you just thought and say it out loud in more rational terms. Instead of, “That idiot just ruined my day! Speeding! Thanks to him I have a dented door!” think about why that person was speeding. Maybe he was hurrying to get to the hospital because his wife is in labor. Say, out loud to yourself your theory why the guy was speeding.
Instead of, “She just had to spill ketchup on me! Now look! My silk blouse needs to go to the cleaners!” try to think of reasons why your offender was clumsy. “Maybe she was working for 24 hours straight. Maybe that’s why her coordination’s not so good.”
Always reframe your thoughts in a proactive way. In a way that you take charge of the situation and not stand there like a victim, gaping and sputtering all your indignation at someone who just may have had as bad a day as you.
Remember what I echoed from the findings of medical experts. With every second your face gets redder, you are bound to harm your body and your relationships. Anger is definitely not worth the havoc it wreaks.
Matthew Roberts (the author of this article) has set you up with a special gift on his website.
In an exclusive personal interview he uncovered the secret success strategies of multi-millionaire John Di Lemme. For your FREE 18 minute extract of this interview, head on over to www.InspirationToAchieve.com
Please Rate this Article
Click the XML Icon Above to Receive Happiness Articles Via RSS!
