Verbal Red Flags: "let's Keep This Between Us"

When we hear negative news at work, one of our first reactions is to keep it a secret or downplay the issue. There are many seemingly innocent ways we say it. “Let’s keep this between us.” “We can’t let this get out.” “Let’s not overreact.” “We don’t want to concern people.” Unfortunately, we’ve gotten pretty good at squelching bad news.

The desire to hide an issue or downplay a problem is understandable in some ways. In our minds, we probably think we’re being loyal by protecting the company from criticism. But, this gut reaction is very short sighted. All companies have problems. What matters the most is how we respond to them.

In almost every case, hiding our problems multiplies our problems. It happens in countless ways we can’t anticipate. When we try to smooth over bad news, we can’t correct the problems adequately, so they snowball.

For example, in the last few years it came to light that a number of well-known pharmaceutical companies downplayed the sometimes-deadly side effects of their drugs. As a result, thousands of patients died. The companies were successfully sued for billions of dollars. In one case, a company’s stock went from $90 per share to $30 per share. CEO’s resigned in shame. Thousands of employees lost their job. When we hide problems, everybody loses.

This is all the result of someone along the line saying something like, “Let’s keep this between us.” Sadly, hiding issues becomes so routine in some companies, you don’t even have to make the statement out loud. People just learn to bury bad news. I call this a “normalized workplace dysfunction” (NWD). In other words, our harmful activities become so normal to us that we no longer view them as problems.

The problems don’t go away, however, when we bury them. They get worse. They multiply. They become monsters that can destroy our companies. Sooner or later, the truth will come out. When it does, it’ll get ugly.

It’s a much better practice to be honest early because “the truth will set you free.” What an accurate expression.

When we’re honest early, we can solve our problems while they’re small. We need to identify the issues that can harm our organization’s long-term success in order to fix them. We can pay a small price now instead of an enormous price later.

The next time somebody suggests hiding or downplaying an issue, reply with, “In the long run, it’s better if we fix the issue now before it becomes unmanageable. We don’t want to read about this on the front page of the newspaper a year from now.”

By: Dr. Alexander Lyon

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For more information, visit alexanderlyon.com. Alexander Lyon, Ph.D., is a professor and speaker who specializes in workplace communication and relationships.