Wedding Etiquette Advice At The Beginning Stages Of Wedding Planning
Wedding Etiquette Advice is far and wide on the internet these days, which is fine, in and of itself, but it can wear you out. Especially in light of the culture as we cling to the traditions of old, and yet, slip into a more modern approach. But is that always the best thing to do?
Yes and No.
Wedding Etiquette Advice can vary from source to source and looking for it can cause you to become very frustrated. Trust me, I have been there more times than I want to admit. But that is a story for another day!
So, what is it about Wedding Etiquette Advice that makes it so frustrating. Well it is the amount of advice that seems to exist out there and I will touch on some basics and try to make it fun in the process.
Let's first look at what the term "Etiquette" is, shall we?
Etiquette, above all, is the way you treat people. Oprah says that it is, and this is a paraphrase here, the way you treat people when no one is looking. Pretty good stuff!
To take it even further from a Wedding Etiquette standpoint, it is the way you treat people in the Wedding Planning process that makes everyone connected to the wedding feel comfortable and lets them know that you honestly care about their feelings as it pertains to the wedding. This is everyone connected to the wedding intimately and even to those who are invited.
Boy, a lot to consider, and yet, many people think that Wedding Etiquette Advice is something that they shouldn't even think about at all.
A BIG mistake!
It is a lot to consider and you really have to be a politician, in many ways, or at least have a pretty decent "Chief of Staff" who fields questions and makes the waters a lot smoother during the Wedding Planning process. For the Bride, that is the Maid of Honor and for the Groom, of course, that is the Best man. However, in these days those roles have seem to become more ceremonial, but it should not be that way.
Let's touch on the basics of introducing your parents, dealing with parents and inviting people, in general.
Introducing Your Parents
If the bride and groom’s parents have not met prior to the engagement, tradition dictates that the groom’s family calls and introduces themselves to the bride’s family and arranges a meeting. Man, if only that would have been done in all of my weddings, maybe I might still be married. Just kidding, probably not!
If the groom’s parents do not make the first introduction, then the bride’s parents should. Nowadays, who makes the first call is irrelevant; all that really matters is that the parents meet. If meeting face to face is impossible, a letter or phone call will suffice. Just make sure it happens BEFORE the rehearsal dinner for God sakes.
Introducing Divorced Parents
If the groom’s parents are divorced, the parent with the closest relationship to the groom should take the first step in meeting the bride’s parents. If both sets are divorced, the parent closest to the groom should first contact the bride’s suggested parent. If no one begins the introduction process, the couple should then step in and ensure that everyone meets. Just whatever you do, don't force potentially awkward situations. It is just not worth it!
Bride, Your Future In-Laws
Face it, the groom’s parents often feel left out of the Wedding Planning process. To avoid this, invite your future in-laws into the initial dialogue. You should immediately inform them of your ideas regarding location, date, size and style of the wedding. Take queues on their desired level of involvement, and include them accordingly. Let them make offers to pitch in with finances or planning as is appropriate and make sure you honor their feelings as much as possible. The groom will love you and you might even start out on a better footing with the parents. For the Groom, just do the best you can as you probably screwed anyway as you will never do enough to be the best for "Daddy's Little Girl." Sorry, truth is what it is.
Invitation Etiquette
One other little tidbit on inviting people to the Wedding, and this changes daily, it seems. As far as inviting partners and guests, the rules seem to be that If an invited guest is married, engaged or living with a significant other, that partner must be included in the invitation. A single invitation addressed to both individuals should be sent to spouses or couples who live together, while separate invitations should be sent to each member of an engaged or long term couple who don’t live together. Inviting single guests with a date is a thoughtful gesture, but one that is not required. If you are inviting a single guest with a date, try to find out the name of your friend’s intended date and include that person’s name on the invitation. Otherwise, inner envelopes may include “And Guest,” indicating that he or she may bring any chosen escort or friend.
For more advice on invitation etiquette, consult the Wedding Etiquette Advice Guide on my blog, a little ebook that seems to have some pretty decent information on the topic at here or check out my blog at where I talk about Event Planning and how to make your Events a success because I think that "Every Event in Your Life Should be a Party."
When it comes to Wedding Planning and Wedding Etiquette Advice, have fun and don't stress about it all. It will all turn out OK.
DA is a long time Event/Party Planner and can be found, when not actually doing an Event, blogging about it at eventplanning.massivefundraisingsuccess.com. The Wedding Etiquette Book at www.massivefundraisingsuccess.com/wedding_index.html is a valuable resource for those planning a wedding.
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