What Is The Emotional Fallout That Precedes Painful Behaviors? Is It Mind Or Soul That Is Conscious
Basically because the mind functions like a machine; experiences, facts, feelings, or beliefs that are unacceptable to it are routinely blocked out or denied. This happens in even the best of minds because the whole purpose of denial is to keep experiences, facts, feelings, or beliefs which would most likely overwhelm or disrupt us out of our everyday consciousness. How can you choose to be more aware? The following story has the answer.
The following synopsis tells the methods a Sufi teacher used for escaping when asked about it years later. From the The Spiritual Dimension of the Enneagram: Nine Faces of the Soul by Sandra Maitri, she opens with a parable from the recently deceased Sufi teacher Indries Shah. It’s about an unjustly imprisoned tinsmith who miraculously escapes from prison.
The tinsmith told the following when asked how he escaped; he replied that his wife (a weaver) had woven the design of the lock to his prison cell into the prayer rug upon which he prayed five times a day. After realizing that the rug contained the lock design, he struck a deal with his jailers to get tools to make small artifacts, which the jailers then sold for a profit. He surreptitiously used the tools to fashion a key, by which he eventually made his escape.
The moral of the story is: understanding the design of the lock that keeps us imprisoned can help us create the key that opens it.
How can you move past blockages and denial and attain your freedom? Here is another piece of the answer. People become overwhelmed most often when the worst of circumstances come into their lives or are triggered to unconsciously remember past trauma. Upon reaching the state of being overwhelmed, they will tend to drop into hopeless or helpless states. It’s dangerous to remain in either of these states for any period of time because they often induce the destructive life patterns which include overeating, overspending, too much radio, television or movies, etc.
During the worst of circumstances you can experience specific stages of grief like the stages Elizabeth Kubler-Ross wrote in her pioneering books on death and dying. Ross helped establish the modern hospice movement and brought to mass awareness the five stages that precede and give closure to the act of dying—(1) denial and isolation, (2) anger, (3) bargaining, (4) depression, and (5) acceptance. When you take the next step of letting go or thinking of letting go of an old destructive behavior you need to be aware of these stages. Think of it as letting go or the death of the past behavior that you choose to get rid forever.
When people let go of preciously-held beliefs, many times they will pass through these same stages before reaching and accepting a new awareness. Often each loss, whether the death of a loved one, dropping an old belief, or releasing a limiting behavior pattern, needs to be grieved and honored in the natural process of the five stages before the individual can move to a higher level of functioning. Again take note of these five stages of grief.
Sometimes therapy exercises like the ones found in Not Your mothers Diet by Dr. Fuller or other self-help books can help. In certain cases a support system of friends who understand the process can offer assistance to you, as you would for them. Other times your dreams help facilitate the transition that begins with these five stages.
The ideal way to shift to new states of consciousness is to move alternately between the five stages in a random pattern that’s comfortable for you, until you reach a state of gradual acceptance. It’s imperative to avoid getting stuck in any one state for too long (which can bring on feelings of confusion or hopelessness before you default to a destructive life pattern). That’s when it is valuable to have established safe others to help you through the process as needed.
When you do feel confused, helpless, or hopeless, reach out to friends, a support group, or turn to therapy exercises and techniques for help. Often it’s just a matter of trying different tools, techniques, and support systems until you find a combination that works for you.
Dr. Fuller’s work as a leading eating disorder expert, Licensed Counselor, and National Hypnotherapist has helped countless individuals find happiness that has eluded them. Her seventeen years of private practice gives her a unique insight into what can work to change one’s life.
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