What You Ought To Know About Infidelity Within A Marriage

Infidelity within a marriage is seen as something normal these days. No one cares or is surprised when one finds out about a marriage with infidelity. “The grass is greener on the other side” is a culturally accepted thought process.

However, infidelity within a marriage is something to blame on the individual. Though, I cannot say that I believe a spouse cheats to purposely do wrong against the marriage and the other spouse. Someone who commits adultery lacks self-esteem and spiritual wisdom or knowledge.

Unfaithfulness works in four steps: imagined scenes, meditated scenes for greater and more vivid clarity, justification of wrong thinking through socially accepted or cultural influences, and lastly carried out into physical action. The act is followed then either by remorse and ceased infidelity or constant self-gratification of the promiscuous act.

Unfaithfulness stems from a problem greater than simply the need to be with another sexually; however, most failed marriages are blamed by the presence of infidelity. Bigger issues within a marriage, that thrust the act of infidelity into fruition, can be boredom and the lack of respect and commitment for one another.

There is a constant battle between society’s justification of promiscuity within multiple partners in the marriage bed and the mutual respect and sacredness of the marriage bed as God created it.

The real problem within the marriage is the lack of spiritual wisdom guiding the couple. “The ability to forgive does not stand with us alone.” The adulterer needs to humble himself to the guidance of God. For an adulterer, help is needed to turn away from tempting situations.

Adultery breaks a marriage. God did not create sex to be experienced outside of marriage. Therefore not only does adultery disrespect as well as hurt the trust of the spouse, it is rebellious against what God has created.

If a couple starts with one or both spouse not having the wisdom of God to guide their self and marriage then in order for the act of forgiveness to be used properly to restore the marriage, it must be guided by God.

Through our own understanding, we become bitter about our spouse having sex with someone else. It is then that we need to have the knowledge of God’s world of goodness to change our thinking patterns. We cannot allow unhealthy emotions to rule how we view and act in the world.

As a spiritually healthy person allows themselves to be led by God’s insight, then we can look beyond selfishness toward knowing how to properly love and respect our spouse. It is this selfishness that first guided the infidelity. We cannot do this alone. We need to have the knowledge of God within the framework of who we are.

Humans do not completely understand how to forgive without forgetting or bringing the issue to mind or to even our spouse again in the future. Forgiveness should not be superficial; meaning the burden of hurt is still felt.

Superficial forgiveness leads to bitter feelings growing and eventually taking over our behavior. Let God guide us to forgive for real, allowing something good and true from God to control our behavior.

A lot of the pain caused by unfaithfulness could have been avoided if you knew your partner is cheating behind your back. One way of acquiring such information is to spy on his mobile phone.

By: Will Yap

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