When Christmas Is Difficult

Many of us have difficulty enjoying the holidays for a number of reasons, but usually, in one way or another, the reasons have to do with family. It is, however, possible to regain a sense of peace and to find enjoyment in the season. The first step is to let go of feeling like you have to do the holiday in a certain way. Sometimes this can feel challenging, but you really can do it.

The most common reasons people have trouble with Christmas is it may mark the anniversary of the loss of a loved one, there may be a lot of family discord or alcoholism in the family, or there may be great loneliness. If any of these reasons describe your situation, you will need to find new ways of passing the holidays so that you can find more joy. Going along with the way things have been in past years will not help you to find peace.


Give yourself permission to avoid or limit exposure to people who make you unhappy over the holidays. Family pressures can be intense, so if you need to, you can change your participation in family events by stages. Even shortening visits will help you reclaim some of your time but perhaps even more importantly, you will start to regain a sense of control over your own life by making choices for yourself instead of passively going along. This will help you a great deal to feel better.

Also, find old or new activities on or around the holidays that have meaning for you, no matter how unconventional they may be. You really do not have to spend Christmas any particular way. ‘Holiday' literally means a day of freedom from labor, as well as ‘holy day.' The word ‘holy' in turn, means ‘belonging to God' but it is interesting to note the word ‘holy' comes from root words meaning sound, whole, and happy. Holidays should be your days of freedom, and a chance to feel whole and happy, not distressed and burdened. Find activities that help you feel this way.

By: CD Mohatta

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