When You're Just Not Up For It: How To Avoid Having Sex
We all know the phrase 'not tonight, honey- I have a headache,' but what isn't well-known is that both women and men simply are not in the mood for having sex. It can be a sticky, tricky situation to avoid having sex without either hurting another person or going through a dramatic scene. There are many ways to avoid having sex, regardless if you're a singleton or in a relationship. Some situations may differ, but they all involve the same underlying idea: clear communication.
Singletons: The main goal for you is to avoid having sex without completely closing the door on a future possibility. The latest fad in avoiding sex is a lifestyle choice: being either 'revirginized' or celibate. This might seem a bit extreme, but many single people are choosing this over the constant disappointment of one-night stands and walks of shame in the morning. It also takes the pressure off of you in having to come up with a lame excuse to someone you don't know well. It ensures the other person won't take it personally, and they'll definitely respect you in the morning.
Relationships: Clearly, there's no way you can use the celibacy excuse for avoiding having sex. In relationships, the best thing to focus on is why you want to avoid having sex. Is it physical? When you're working intensely, it affects your sex drive seriously. Is it medical? Explain, in detail, to your partner and try to come up with solutions together. Are you bored with your sex life? Some partners are afraid of asking for things in the bedroom, or criticizing the other person. If something's not working for you, you need to sort it out. If it's a request, start out small, with hints, and gauge their reception. It will build your confidence in approaching the topic. If it's a complaint, always start out with what you like and then go into the changes you need.
There are times in our sex lives we're completely not interested in having sex, and we need to (politely) avoid having sex. By being gracious and very clear with the other person, there should be fewer hard feelings or lengthy dramatic arguments. It will also help you increase your chances for the next bedroom romp, when you don't want to avoid having sex. It could also help your relationship in the long-term, by solving unresolved issues or building a new relationship without a sexual distraction.
Mary Carlson is a relationship genius who provides down to earth relationship advice for couples to make them witness a dramatic change on the romantic front. With a record of all satisfied couples, her love advice acts as an effective remedy to resolve most relationship issues.
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