Why Did I Not Succeed?

Over the last decade, success is probably the word most spoken, the idea most thought, the lifestyle most sought after, and the inner state most desired. In the future, people will keep looking for success as part of their purpose. Everybody talks about it, everybody wants it, everybody runs after it, but what is it? What is it all about? How do we get there? Why does everybody seem to achieve success, but you don’t?

First of all, let me tell you why some people become successful and others don’t. You are right about the fact that some people become successful accidentally, but most of us have to work on it. You actually have to create your success. Being successful is a conscious act, not a passive attitude. It’s not about waiting around until success comes along and then quickly jumping on top of it (if you haven’t fallen asleep already). No, success is achieved through deliberate action.

What about those people who seem to achieve success just like that, without any effort? Well, I guess they naturally possess the very attitudes of success that you and I have to acquire through practice. For some reason – education perhaps – they got things right from the start, while others need to actively introduce and establish the habits of success into their lives.

Just like me, you are probably of the latter kind, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this article. I’ve been a failure for a big part of my life. I had a college degree, a husband, four children, a beautiful house, good friends, overseas holidays, cute pets, many certificates and diplomas and especially a lot of frustration. I had everything and nothing at the same time. I was going nowhere, thinking that everybody was successful except me. I tried to convince myself that I could not be successful with so many kids to look after, but then this reminded me of my mother, who never did anything with her talents and energy “because of the children”.

I decided that was a lousy excuse, so I had to find another, more plausible excuse, but couldn’t find any. My frustration was building up to the size of a mountain. I got more and more scattered, feeling like I was cut up in a hundred pieces: one going this way, another going that way, still another going elsewhere and all together going nowhere.

Do you recognize the feeling? It was terrible and with every passing birthday it got worse. I was destroying myself and started to “explode.” I didn’t understand this was my own energy turning against myself, because I didn’t have a goal to direct my energy to.

Finally I had a really close look at the problem. I said to myself, “Girl, if you are able to bear four children and manage all of your activities (housekeeping, community service, silk-painting workshops I was giving, the parents-board I set up at school, and many other things I was involved in) all by yourself, then you must be able to put ALL this energy TOGETHER in ONE direction and move forward faster than a rocket to the moon!”

But I had no clue how to do this. I got more and more envious of people who did succeed. I had all the ingredients right there but still nothing happened. There was some key element missing. People saw me as a very talented person, but I felt like a chicken with its head cut off, heading in any and all directions at the same time. I was angry and agitated, running around like a very busy woman, seemingly “getting on top of everything,” but the truth is I was haunted by the idea of kicking the bucket BEFORE it all got started! Really, I was afraid that everything would be over and done with, before I had the chance to live MY life! I got sick of it.

So there I was, with all of my talents spread out before me, and nothing happening. Only frustration. It’s like baking a cake for the first time: all the ingredients are out on the table, but if you don’t know how to put them together, there will be no cake. Now I know what was lacking then: the idea of the cake and the recipe! The separate ingredients are completely useless if you don’t know what to do with them! The butter will get rancid, the milk will go bad, bugs will breed in the flower and the eggs will start to smell. Fine ingredients, yes, but without the purpose of making a cake, they just sit and rot.

So the key element that was missing was this: A CLEAR GOAL! An idea of where I wanted to go with my life, a recipe of what I wanted to create myself! As long as I could not SEE where I was going, I was going nowhere.

I started looking for tools to set goals and my dreams came to reality. Not at once, no, step by step, but surely. I knew that the mere reading of information would not change a thing. So I applied everything I read and integrated it into my daily life. And success came along. Now I can tell with proud that success is possible for everyone. Not easy, but possible, for those who know HOW to create it and who are willing and determined enough to be as successful as anybody else. You can do it!

By: Ineke Van Lint

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Written by Ineke Van Lint. At her website www.theenthusiasm.com you find everything you need about What is the Purpose of your Life and about How to Free your Potential and Create Success. Grab your free e-course and the Free Vitamins for your Soul. Start living from your Soul's perspective. Start being You, a brilliant Diamond.