Why Do People Lie? Tell Us The Truth

It’s very difficult to tell the truth about why people lie, particularly if the subject of your analysis is yourself! There are statistics available about why people lie, so perhaps that’s a good place to start, if you can trust the statisticians to tell the truth. Apparently only 12% of adults admit to telling lies ‘sometimes’ or ‘often’. Herein lies the problem—they cannot possibly be telling the truth. Of course the small percentage of people willing to admit they are liars are, in fact, capable of more honesty than everybody else.

Everybody lies don’t they? Why? Why do people lie? Should the real question be, what is an acceptable lie? Do you measure the lie by the lengths a person is prepared to go to maintain it, or do you need to consider why the lie was told in the first place? We begin practising lies from a very young age (‘I didn’t take Tommy’s teddy bear’, ‘I have been to the moon in an aeroplane’), presumably in an attempt to gauge how much lying will be tolerated and in what circumstances. Depending on the environment, the outcome of these ‘experiments’ might determine why people lie and the kinds of lies they tell in their adulthood.

A lie is a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive, an intentional untruth. The least detrimental lie is possibly the white lie, a minor fib which could be considered to be harmless, or even beneficial, in the long term. For instance, when asked by your partner if you enjoyed the meal she cooked, you might answer ‘Yes, it was great, thank you’. You are genuinely thankful for her efforts, and do usually enjoy her cooking even if the truth is you didn’t enjoy that particular meal very much at all. You’ve avoided upsetting her, at the same time bolstering her confidence in the kitchen, potentially having the effect of improving her cooking ability.

It is also possible to deceive someone in order to protect them. This is true on an individual level (a returned soldier telling the wife of his best mate that her husband died an honourable death and didn’t unduly suffer), a corporate level (telling the employee of a growing company that they are being let go because a different skill set is required, when the truth is their lack of efficiency is to blame), a government level (not informing the public immediately of a threat so as to avoid panic, fear or chaos which may add to the threat). These might be referred to as noble lies, told to a person or persons for the benefit of their wellbeing, or to maintain order within a society. It is a lie which benefits the teller and the recipient. Why people lie in this context is completely understandable and would be considered by most people as acceptable.

A partial lie might similarly be told for noble reasons, although a contextual lie where only part of the truth is stated out of context, can give a false impression and be very damaging.

I would take a guess and say the most popular lie, and the most difficult to admit to, must be the lie that is told so as to avoid scrutiny, exposure or blame. This type of lie carries the heavy burden of conflict. The liar has avoided accusation, but carries the guilt of dishonesty. Some people are obviously better at telling this kind of lie than others, depending on the depth of moral conflict they feel as a result. That’s not to say a murderer feels less guilt about covering up his crime than a secretary might feel for stealing stationary from her work place. The implications of the lie deeply affect the degree of conflict and guilt.

Of course the most damaging lie is the one told in an attempt to cause harm, wether it is a total or partial lie. A malicious lie must constitute the worst kind of dishonesty. But what it all boils down to is that lying is a fundamental part of our society and brings into focus more important question about the need for a lie to begin with. If you take the example of the returned soldier who told the noble lie to his best mate’s wife, we should be asking why he was engaged in a war to begin with, why did his best mate have to die a gruesome death defending his country?

In considering why people lie we are really touching on the deeper questions about our human nature, why we are the way we are, the questions we find the most difficult to answer, which might have something to do with why we lie.

By: Sasha Vlavinski

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All the questions about humans and our 'behaviours like why do people lie?' interests me greatly. I love finding other like-minded people who are willing and wanting to ask questions about life instead of always evading them.