Working Together – An Important Parenting Skill

There is nothing more important to be said in parenting advice than working together in raising your children and establishing child discipline. It also needs to be said that it goes for all children of a relationship. Even if they belong to a previous relationship, the two people who make up their parents need to work together to form their children's discipline plan.

Children are experts in manipulating situations to their advantage. They know that if they can’t get something from one parent, they can always turn to the other. This not only creates unnecessary misunderstanding between the parents but also teaches the children to be opportunists. They get wrong ideas and learn to use unfair means to get their way. This can be avoided through team work.

This is why working together as parents is essential to the welfare and stability of a home and well as a valuable parenting skill. The first thing to do is to sit down and have a meeting - just the parents - and work out a system that works for you as parents.

If necessary, equally separate the subjects that a parent will decide on. For example, one parent handles outdoor activities while the other handles indoor activities. This will prevent the child or children from being able to play one parent against the other.

Another option to head off child behavior problems is that each situation requires the approval of both parents in order for an answer to be given. This often works but can be a bit troublesome when one parent is not available.

No matter which method you decide to use for making decisions, all parents need to agree on the rules and steps to follow. Once you've decided, then go to your children and explain the situation.

Your children must have the perception that you work together as a team. It will help the older children to understand the situation and it will deter them from future parent playing. It works for smaller children just as well too, because establishing this routine will prevent parent playing from occurring.

Apart from establishing child behavior, parents need to work together to take crucial decisions like schooling and education of the children, faith and religion that they will follow and other important matters. Both parents should be in agreement about how to bring up their children. However, agreeing to disagree is also a part of team work, as long as parents can be cordial and pleasant about it. The important thing is that children should feel that parents work as a team. You can iron out your differences alone but must present a picture of working together to the children.

By: Dr. Noel Swanson.

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