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You Might Think You Are Using Sex Toys Too Much When…

Many of us can go a little crazy with your sextoys at times. You know the story: it's been a long time since you basically had a genuine lover and to be truthful you're sooo busy at the office and catching up with your mates that you just think it's a lot less complicated to DIY. And let's face it, get yourself off much better than anyone else. So, just how are you ever going to break that special bond with the reliable sex toy?

Occasionally it reaches the stage when you know you have got to slow down just a bit: the next door neighbours are banging on the walls at the groaning, your mates are calling wondering where the hell are you, you were late again for work simply because you simply had to have one extra go! reading to see can recognise yourself:¶

Guys

You had to get signed off from work with repetitive strain injury. What you didn't say to your doctor was that you were overdoing the monkey spanker.

You've got your own private stripper pole dancing pole in the front room. Just in case a girl drops by. And she wants to take off all of her clothes and give you a show! You never know when that might occur.

You keep putting sex lube on your toothbrush in the morning cause the bathroom cabinet has way more sex lube than lotions and creams. You kind of got used to the flavor!

You really feel so porn'd out that you simply struggle to get it up, even for Sasha Grey hardcore stuff.

You wear a smoking jacket. You open a bottle of bubbly (okay Lambrini). You pretend to live in the Playboy Mansion plus the Fleshlight Girls are all your girlfriends. Sometimes you party with just one at times two or 3 at the same time. Your real life girlfriend is beginning to believe you could be having an affair.

Girls

The mammoth dildos aren't actually touching the sides any longer! OMG maybe you have damaged yourself? Time to get out the kegel exerciser.

You've mega hardened nipples from the nipple clamps. You get your boyfriend to chew on them. hard. And you still can't really feel it!

You can only get clitoral satisfaction from your vibe you connected to the industrial pneumatic drill. How many revs a minute is that?

Your specific sex toy drawer is now so chock-full that you are thinking of having a satin lined showcase, with display racks, made to order. Is that like, too strange?

Your much-loved vibrator died of exhaustion on the floor. You shed a couple of tears and opened a wine bottle and considered exactly how you could carry on alone.

Do not fret you're between good friends here! We love sextoys and we love having a good time. If that makes you a sex toy addict - come be a part of our club!

By: Shelley Walsh

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