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Met Meets Greece's Request; Returns Ancient Toilet Seats
Another Dracula, Another Flop
Basketball For Short People: Basket To Be Lowered
Clever Mayor Roy Nagen: Has Runoff Election With White Guy Who Looks Just Like Roy Himself
Update: Artic National Wildlife Refuge: Senate Rejects "Oil Drilling"; Approves "Oil Hunting."
U.S. Ends Oil Dependency; Turns B.S. Into Fuel
Circus Clowns - Without Skill Laughter Turns Into Disaster
Sun Will Only Burn For 5 Billion More Years; Humans Express Concern
Hispanic Immigrants Demonstrate; "Illegal" Not In Spanish Dictionary
Proof Tax Laws Faulty: 9 Out Of 10 Americans Set To Declare Bankruptcy
Nightclub For Baby Boomes Raided; Patrons Nabbed For Dropping Antacid
Iraqi Insurgents In Secret Talks; Admit May Be Fighting Wrong Enemy
Hillary Clinton To Become Republican
The Topless CPA
Government Study Shows Decrease In Buying Power Of Dollar; Now Equal To Penny
Microsoft Vista To Support Only Microsoft Products; Denies Monopolistic Intent
Pope to Rule On Condoms And AIDS; May Consult People With Hands-On Experience
America To Sue Rest Of World For Ungrateful Behavior
Infant Author Accused Of Plaigarism; Copied Sounds In Nursery
JazzFest In New Orleans Kicks Off Without Jazz
Time To Bring Pete Rose Home
Bolivian President Evo Morales: Expropriates Energy Company Assets While Accusing Them Of Stealing
Despite Hurricane Season, Weather Still Better Than On Moon
Surgeon General Uncertain About What Hospital To Check His Grandmother Into
The Party Store
An Efficient Commute
Theory Of Evolution Challenged By French Chef; Cites Role Of Food And Wine
Dick Cheney Enrolls At Dale Carnegie; Updates Curriculum
Movie Stars As Sources Of Wisdom
Democrats Search For Platform; Find It In FDR's Basement

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