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The Party Store
Surgeon General Uncertain About What Hospital To Check His Grandmother Into
Despite Hurricane Season, Weather Still Better Than On Moon
Bolivian President Evo Morales: Expropriates Energy Company Assets While Accusing Them Of Stealing
Time To Bring Pete Rose Home
JazzFest In New Orleans Kicks Off Without Jazz
Infant Author Accused Of Plaigarism; Copied Sounds In Nursery
America To Sue Rest Of World For Ungrateful Behavior
Pope to Rule On Condoms And AIDS; May Consult People With Hands-On Experience
Microsoft Vista To Support Only Microsoft Products; Denies Monopolistic Intent
Government Study Shows Decrease In Buying Power Of Dollar; Now Equal To Penny
The Topless CPA
Hillary Clinton To Become Republican
Iraqi Insurgents In Secret Talks; Admit May Be Fighting Wrong Enemy
Nightclub For Baby Boomes Raided; Patrons Nabbed For Dropping Antacid
Proof Tax Laws Faulty: 9 Out Of 10 Americans Set To Declare Bankruptcy
Hispanic Immigrants Demonstrate; "Illegal" Not In Spanish Dictionary
Sun Will Only Burn For 5 Billion More Years; Humans Express Concern
Circus Clowns - Without Skill Laughter Turns Into Disaster
U.S. Ends Oil Dependency; Turns B.S. Into Fuel
Update: Artic National Wildlife Refuge: Senate Rejects "Oil Drilling"; Approves "Oil Hunting."
Clever Mayor Roy Nagen: Has Runoff Election With White Guy Who Looks Just Like Roy Himself
Basketball For Short People: Basket To Be Lowered
Another Dracula, Another Flop
Met Meets Greece's Request; Returns Ancient Toilet Seats
Ken Lay Explains Behavior With Poem From Childhood: "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep."
Medical Researcher Discovers Cause Of Asinine Behavior
Major Software Innovation: Same Tasks In All Programs Will Be Done With Same Clicks
Man Loses Memory; Shows Up At Emergency Room
Gas Prices Go "Gas-tronomical!"

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